Erica tried new things and enjoyed her time on the homestay

From March 2nd to March 5th, my fellow co-educators and I had our homestay experience in Ocean view. I had relatively high expectations going into the weekend since many former students said that the homestay was one of their favorite weekends during their time in South Africa. I also had a lot of questions in my mind, such as what the typical day for a South African family looks like, what traditions my host family might have, and if there would be any big cultural differences between us.

Shona and I were roommates for the weekend, and our host mom was Auntie Harriet. Auntie Harriet has a husband whose name is Edmund, and 18-year old daughter named Celestine, and two sons who aren’t living at home anymore because they’re married. When Shona and I arrived on Thursday we sat around and got to know the family a little bit. Edmund was immersed in a popular Afrikaans soap opera, which he seemed to know a lot about. One aspect I immediately noticed is how accommodating my host family was. As soon as we arrived, they seemed very concerned with making sure that we were comfortable, which was very kind. The first night went well, however; there was one instance that threw me off a bit. On our first night, Auntie Harriet was talking to Shona and I about past guests they’ve hosted from other universities and programs, and she was telling us various things previous guests did that bothered her. This made me slightly uncomfortable because it was one of the first conversations we had with Auntie Harriet, however; it wasn’t a big deal overall.

           

On Friday morning we helped out at a local crèche, which I was looking forward to because I worked with the same age of children when I was a camp counselor. It was interesting to see the differences between the crèche in Ocean view, the one near my internship in Khayelitsha, and the pre-schools back home. The crèche in Ocean View had many more resources than the one in Khayelitsha, but fewer than the ones I’ve seen in the United States. As I was helping out that morning, I kept thinking about the children at the crèche near my internship, and how I wish they at least had the same resources as the crèche in Ocean View. In the afternoon we went to the beach with a group of children from the community. At the beach we played various games, had a sandcastle competition, and got to know the kids. The look of excitement on their faces when we arrived to the beach was indescribable, and you could tell that they were all really enjoying themselves. It was hard to say goodbye to the kids at the end of the day because I felt like I had already made strong connections with them in such a short amount of time.

           

On Saturday, we spent the entire day with our host families and got to know them much better. In the morning we went to the farm and got sushi, which was a nice treat. Afterwards we ran some errands and picked up groceries for the braai that our host family was planning for that night. One thing I especially enjoyed about this weekend was the fact that I got to try a lot of traditional food; from curry to potjie, I got a little taste of everything. When we returned home, Shona, Celestine, and I gave each other makeovers, which made us all feel a lot closer. Auntie Harriet even let me do her makeup, and at this point in the weekend I felt like I was bonding with her more. That night we had a braai at the house, and some of Auntie Harriet’s extended family came over. I had a good time, however; one comment was made that didn’t sit well with me. One of Auntie Harriet’s friends made a remark about how she thinks that some women in abusive relationships enjoy being hit. I think Shona and I handled this situation well, as we politely explained to Auntie Harriet’s friend why that isn’t the case.  I completely understand that her friend didn’t receive the same education or upbringing as I, and so she may not understand the implication of what she said; however, it was still a little shocking to hear. With that being said, Shona and I defused the situation, and the rest of the night went well.

           

Erica (in center with striped shirt) with UConn co-educators and some Ocean View host families.

On Sunday morning, we went to one of the local churches with our host family. This was an interesting experience because the service was a lot different than the churches my family and I went to when I was little. After church, we all relaxed at the house together until it was time for Shona and I to say our goodbyes. The main thing about this weekend that stood out to me was our host families’ generosity and courtesy. It seemed like Auntie Harriet and her family wanted to ensure that Shona and I were always comfortable and enjoying ourselves, which I appreciated. Overall, I enjoyed the homestay experience because I got to try many new things, and I was able to see how the typical South African family spent their day. I think this experience is valuable because it immerses you into a new culture, and gives you the opportunity to make connections with local South Africans

Sarah was made to feel part of the family right during her homestay

The Homestay had to be one of the greatest weekends I’ve had so far.  I admit, I was a little nervous to stay with a host family I had never met before, but they went through great lengths to make Alex and I feel at home.  Galin and Nigel Adams we the perfect parents, as Kayla and Khloe were the greatest sisters, making us feel as though we were a part of the family.  Although they admitted to being huge meat-lovers, they gave me delicious vegetarian alternatives with the utmost respect and understanding, always concerned about whether or not I had enough to eat (and believe me, I had more than enough).  I was so comfortable in that house I almost didn’t want to go to ballroom dancing Thursday night, but I am forever grateful I had the opportunity to because the experience was amazing!

I had the most brilliant partner, Joshua Daniels, who happened to be the instructor’s son and Chantel’s cousin.  We learned the Waltz and the Cha Cha, both of which made me miss my years of dancing.  I was very concerned about doing all the steps right so I didn’t look like a fool, but Joshua assured me that I was a natural – which very well could’ve been a fib, but was sweet nonetheless.  I enjoyed it so much that I’m thinking I will look into dancing again when I get back home; it would be a great way to stay active and improve my mental health; much of which is the purpose of this class for the youth of Oceanview.  I would really love to visit the class again if I have the chance to before we leave.  Plus, Joshua and is partner are incredible – I bet we’ll see them professionally competing on TV one day!

Friday was extremely busy, and started out interesting as Alex and I woke up late due to a miscommunication with the alarms -- Chantel was thankfully very understanding, giving us a little extra time before bringing us to the crèche called “Little Rascals.”  The children were all adorable, but the one that took a particular liking to me and I took him was Jeremiah: a 3-year-old boy with developmental disabilities whose birth mother was taking drugs while pregnant with him.  I was moved that he had chosen me to be him companion for the morning, but the constant attention and protection I needed to provide him was exhausting; whether that be holding him as he climbed the ladder to the slide, wiping his runny nose, feeding him in a high chair he didn’t want to sit in, or making sure his playing didn’t accidentally harm the other kids.  However, I wouldn’t trade my time with him for anything -- it gave me a new appreciation for those individuals that provide children, like Jeremiah, with the extra time and patience they need to be safe and happy little humans. 

After our crèche experience and lunch at the farm, Chantel introduced us to her children – many of whom come from abusive households, ranging from the ages of about 8 to 10.  As Chantel previously told us, I knew I had to give my all to these kids; that I needed to give them the love, attention, and appreciation they often don’t receive.  Needless to say, this was a group of the strongest, kindest, most loving children I had ever met – I was honored that we had the chance to spend the day with them at the beach.  Their life and love for Chantel and all of us whom they just met was incredible; it’s true when they say the oppressed, the survivors, are the strongest beings out there.  

I was proud to be a part of the Dolphins, building sandcastles, modeling, dancing, having the best war cry, and most of all, getting to know the children on an individual basis.  Liara, who started out as one of the quietest in our group, slowly opened up, taking silly selfies with me, running with me to grad more seaweed to decorate our sandcastle, and giving me a limitless supply of hugs.  The hardest part was as we said goodbye, her asking when I’d be back to see her.  At first I instinctively thought probably never, but then I forced myself to ask why does that have to be the case?  I’m here for another couple of months; there’s no reason that I can’t make the effort Liara deserves for me to see her again – which is exactly why I emailed Chantel asking when I could return.  I’m learning it’s important to keep these bonds, to make an effort to stay in touch with those that make a real difference in your life.

After an emotional day, it was great going to the Casino with Kayla and Khloe; we didn’t gamble as someone (Alex) didn’t bring their ID, but we had a blast anyway playing arcade games and watching 50 Shades Darker at the cinema.  It definitely made getting back to the house at 2 in the morning worth it.  That being said, Saturday and Sunday were very relaxing.  We traveled to Table View in the Northern Cape where we stumbled upon the 2017 World Championship of inflatable boat racing, watched movies like Trolls, Monster-in-Law, and Hacksaw Ridge, and spent time getting to know our incredible family and their 3 dogs, all the while eating tons of food.  Their hospitality and goodness is what gives me hope in humanity; for despite being forced to Oceanview, once called Snake’s Head, from Simon’s Town during the Apartheid, they have built a community, opening their hearts and homes to people from all different walks of life.  The kindness of the Adams family, Chantel, and all the children have inspired to be a better version of myself, where I’m reminded that everyone has a story that’s worth listening to.     

Kaitlyn's amazing homestay weekend

Who would've thought one could feel so much love from people who have so little? This weekend, simply put, was amazing. I easily consider our homestay in Oceanview one of the best parts of my entire semester so far. Everything that everyone does is out of pure love, nothing is ever done for show. To give an idea of what this looks like, Chantel told us that sometimes bungalows burn down because of the dryness. The entire rest of the community will know within a few hours and there will be ample supplies/food delivered to the family. If a neighbor is struggling and has no food to eat, other next door neighbors will make sure those people have something to eat. The spirit of ubuntu was really present this weekend and it was wonderful to be a part of. 

Laura T and I stayed with Auntie Alice and Uncle David in their home, conveniently across the street from Sara, Kat, and Ethan. I was definitely apprehensive after our first meal there on Thursday evening, when Auntie told us to sit at the table and instead of the family coming to sit with us, they all sat in the chairs and couches in front of the TV. I was really looking forward to get to know them, but I realized this wasn’t meant to be offensive or negative; that was just their normal dinner-time routine. After dinner, we sat in the living room with them and Uncle David was openly talking to us about how minimal education; he had to pay someone in the community for sewing something of Auntie’s and was unable to understand simple times tables. He was prepared to give the lady over R300, when it was actually only R35. He commented on the fact that he went to school during apartheid and was not taught or exposed to any of the material people learned in other parts of the world during the same time and now. We then went ballroom dancing, which was much more fun than I expected it to be. The people in the community are so talented and they were so eager to share their knowledge with us. 

 

Friday morning we all started off working at different creche’s (preschools) around the community. Auntie Alice runs one out of her home, so I didn’t have to go anywhere. Sara, Kat, and Ethan came over from across the street and we played with the kids during free play, song time, coloring time, etc. They were all so fun, it made my heart happy. Auntie is such an incredible woman. She’s been running this creche for over twenty years now; she decided to open it to provide a safe space for children who would otherwise have little to eat and no supervision throughout the day. If parents cannot afford to pay her, she doesn’t turn them away. In the toughest of times, she makes sure the children eat, even if that means there is no food for her and her family. After spending time at the creche, we went to Imhoff Farm in Oceanview where we all bought lunch and looked amongst all the other shops. We walked over to meet the group of children Chantel spends much of her time with and went to Long Beach. The cloudy, rainy weather didn’t stop us from having a blast at the beach! We had sand castle building contests, a modeling competition, team name competition, and more. The kids were so content and happy with life while there, so seeing that made it all even more worth it. 

Saturday was the day where everything clicked for me. It was the moment I fell in love with South Africa in a way I hadn’t felt before. Of course, I was already so so happy and loved being here, but that was the day that made me never want to leave. I’m not really even sure why, as it was just an ordinary day like any other. Uncle David brought Laura and I down to Fish Hoek and Kalk Bay to take a nice walk and see the area. He told us he does this walk most weekends in the nice weather with Auntie Alice; they walk along the beach, down to Kalk Bay and back, and along Jager’s Walk, which is a path alongside the ocean side of Fish Hoek beach. It was comforting to know he wasn’t going completely out of his way to show us and that it was something he genuinely loves to do. We talked a lot, heard some wise words from Uncle David and listened to many of his hilarious (and long) stories, but there was also a lot of silence throughout the day. That silence almost taught me more though. It reminded me of how important it is to just enjoy moments in life and take everything in. I wasn’t behind a camera lens and never felt like words had to be spoken to break awkward silence. Just being there with Uncle David, so content and at peace, was exactly what I needed. We took the walk slow, just like he likes to do and it made me realize how I often go too fast at home in everything that I do. I need to remember to slow down and just relax more at home, even when the rest of the world around me is moving fast. When we made it to the end of Jagar’s Walk, we sat down on a bench to rest before walking back to the minibus station to go home. Uncle David turned to us and said “Thank you for your kindness and thank you for your humbleness”, followed with something along the lines of how it made him feel good. My first thought was: Why is he thanking us? We should be the ones thanking him… no one at home would ever say that. Something in that moment just amazed me and everything felt so right. That night Ethan drove myself, Laura, Kat, and Sara to see the sunset and we met Ashley and Rachele’s host family there as well. Chantel also ended up bringing Maddy, Rav, and Claire as we were leaving. I could have cried from happiness, sitting on the rocks watching the sunset. The area we were in was unreal and even though the sunset was blocked by the clouds, it summed up my day perfectly in the company of great people that I love. 

Sunday means church, but church for our family was in their home. Uncle David is a pastor and sets up church in the creche. It was a small, yet intimate crowd who attended. I had some expectations after attending that church service in Gugulethu, but I realized that every service is so unique. There was so much singing and rejoicing, such happiness and love that spread throughout the room. Uncle David had Laura and I go up to the front and introduce ourselves to everyone and at the end he had us come back up so they could bless us and say a prayer as we were leaving a few hours later. It amazes me every time to see how much of their life is revolved around loving God. It shapes every aspect of their lives. It’s crazy that they have so little and that it doesn’t even matter to them because regardless of the material items they have, their hearts are so full of love. Our host family had so much love for us as complete strangers, it was definitely bittersweet leaving to come back to Rondebosch. It was eye-opening to see how they live and such an informative experience. 

Taylor's homestay was one of her favorite weekends

Without a doubt, the home stay in Ocean View has been one of my favorite weekends so far.  My roommate for the weekend was Laura G., and it was so much fun getting to spend time with her since we are not roommates in the house! We spent our weekend with an amazing family, Astrid (our host mom), Adrien (host dad), Aiden (15), and Amber (10).  Even though Marita and Chantelle told us how excited the families were to have us for the weekend, I was truly amazed at how warm and welcoming they were to us from the minute we arrived.  We started our trip on Thursday, and first stopped at Chantelle’s house to meet her parents and give Chantelle a chance to organize us and start dropping us off at our host families’ houses.

The moment we got dropped off, I felt so at home! Not to mention, they had a little cat named Ginger (Gingy) and a new puppy named Basha, only about 2 months old.  The pets alone could have made me happy, but the family was so much fun to talk to and spend time with as well. On our first night, all of the UConn students went to a ballroom dancing class run by a dance class in Ocean View. The young dancers were so fun to watch, and they told us they had a competition coming up soon so they were all perfecting their routines! We learned how to cha cha and waltz, and it was a lot of our first times taking any dance class. At first it was difficult to catch on, but we were all having so much fun by the end!

On Friday we first all volunteered at different crèches throughout Ocean View, which are what we would call pre-schools.  The kids were all so cute but we were definitely tired after only a few hours! I think the best part of the weekend was when we took all the kids that Chantelle works with to the beach.  She runs a center for children who are abused or neglected at home, and it is a safe space that they can just come and play and be loved for a few hours each day.  They were all so happy to be at the beach and we bonded with each one of them so quickly.  On Saturday and Sunday, we spent the day with our host family, just hanging out and getting to know them.  By the end of the weekend, it was hard to leave because we felt so at home! I was pretty excited to go back to Rondebosch though, because my mom was arriving for her 10 day visit later that week!

Rav honored by homestay experience

I definitely felt honored to live with Chantel and her family at Ocean View for the homestay. I knew right when I met her that she is a light. She is warm, and enlightening, and so understanding about other people’s lives. She knows almost everyone at Ocean View, because she works so hard with the youth and church there. The kids love her, as do all the adults and parents. She is someone I would strive to be, and empathetic person who gives her all to others, without wanting or asking for anything in return.

The homestay reminded me of my own family, and the days I spend at my house. It was exactly the same dynamic. I don’t really know what I was expecting; maybe something that was more “South African”, but what would that be? It sounds absurd to assume that the family would be all donned in South African wardrobe, and giving us traditional foods and music and culture. If Ocean View was supposed to show me a South African lifestyle, then it did show me that there is no real divide between how different South Africans and American families (speaking, middle-lower class and POC) live; at least for me, living in a middle class home with my Indian family.

Another favorite part of that weekend was at the daycare. Many of the boys and girls befriended me, and I fell in love with the children. I thought it was really interesting how the toys were very gendered. I tried to break some of those stereotypes, when I started playing with a young boy’s hair and tying it into a ponytail. The boys and girls started laughing and calling him a girl, and I educated them that not only girls have long hair. I told them that my grandfather has longer hair than me and wears it in a turban. I think it was really important for the kids to meet us, and also very important for me. I love kids, except I can’t fathom having my own. After this experience, I can definitely see myself being a foster mom, or a mother who would like to adopt.