Ashley wants to fast forward to the point where she will be returning to Cape Town

It's crazy to think about how fast time flies. It feels like just yesterday my parents dropped me off at JFK to go to South Africa. It feels like just yesterday this amazing journey began. I wish I could relive this entire trip all over again. I wouldn't change a single thing, except maybe a few things that happened towards the end of the trip, but other than that I wouldn't change a thing. I'd just relive everything.

I'm definitely sad to be heading home to America, but what eases my mind is that I know I'll go back to South Africa. I think I left my heart there. I fell head over heels in love with the country. I just want to fast forward to the point where I'm boarding a plane to go back. I made great friends, did amazing work, and discovered more about myself than I ever thought I could.

Living abroad changed me for the better. I will never regret the decision I made to live abroad for a semester. I wish the program lasted longer though. Instead of it being just one semester I wish it were two semesters.

Leaving South Africa seems more bitter than sweet; only because I love it so much and I feel like I have unfinished work to do. I left my internship thinking that I was going to be extending my stay...unfortunately plans fell through, so I left IJR with a lot of work I wanted to do. I wanted to write more articles on whiteness and help run workshops on race and gender. I'm trying not to get too upset about leaving...maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe I'm meant to come home to America and go back to South Africa because I'll have something better to offer when I'm older. Fortunately IJR is letting me work on my articles from home.

All I know is that this experience will be something I always remember. I am so thankful for it and I am so excited to see what the future has in store for me. If it weren't for South Africa, I don't think I would have started to become the person I have fallen in love with. 

Ash left her heart in South Africa

Ashley reflecting on internalized and systemic racism

I'm really bummed to think about going home in two weeks. I feel like there is still so much I want to do here...especially at my internship. 

I've been doing research on whiteness and colorblind racism at IJR. Unfortunately I've noticed that the organization has some internal work to do in regards to racism. Not only do the white people refuse to acknowledge their white privilege, but when they talk about it they get upset and even blame people of color for the socio-economic or socially unjust situations they're in. 

I've always been interested in the role of white people in society, but I think my stay at this internship has enhanced my curiosity on the topic. As a white person who is socially conscious I am a recovering racist. Any white person who is socially conscious and who wants to fight for social justice is a recovering racist simply because of the fact that we were born into a world where white supremacy exists and where we were taught to be racists. Not all of us may want to be racist and many of us don't even recognize the smallest forms of racism, but the fact of the matter is that if we need to dismantle internalized and systemic racism. 

This can happen by having conversations about race. Race conversations tend to be swept under the rug by white people who have the privilege of directing where the conversation goes. Since these talks tend to make many white people  uncomfortable and often times angry, white people will say things like "I'm done with this conversation. I'm not racist, I have a black friend" or "this issue doesn't involve me" or "this is an issue of the past." White people get defensive over this topic because they feel that they're being blamed for something they "didn't play a role in." In reality, all white people play a role in perpetuating racism whether they like it or not, and whether they are aware of it or not. The only white people who are not a part of the problem are those who acknowledge that there is an issue and choose to change it. 

This is how white people can be allies. White people have the privilege of choosing whether or not they want to help change the system...so, as white people we can start by recognizing our own internalized racism and then by calling out acts of racism and prejudice whenever or wherever we see it. 

White people can't say that they "don't see skin color" because this is simply false...by saying this white people are denying the experiences that people of color have gone through and continue to go through. Unfortunately, skin color plays a role in social systems of hierarchy. Anyone who has a passion for fighting social injustices, and anyone who is white, must acknowledge this, read up on the topic, call out injustices, and fight the system! 

One thing that I know for sure is that I'm going to continue to work on this issue.

Ashley on her best "spring break' ever

I can say that my expectations for the Spring Break excursion were met. I was excited at first, and didn't know exactly what to expect. Like I said in my previous post, I was excited to learn more about South African history and to go to Kruger National Park. Though I completely enjoyed Kruger, I think my favorite part of the trip was visiting the museums and the townships.

On Monday we visited the Apartheid Museum and Constitution Hill. Constitution Hill was where many political activists were held as prisoners. What struck me is that these activists weren't even arrested for committing crimes or for being violent, their only crime was protesting an oppressive regime. They were thrown into prison with people who were actually violent and were completely taken advantage of by the corrupt officers who ran the prison. We saw the cramped spaces that they were kept in...some of these prison cells were probably no bigger than an “average size” bedroom and held around 80 people. This lead to an outbreak of diseases since people had no space and because the cells were not sanitary.

I enjoyed the Apartheid Museum because there was an exhibit that taught about Nelson Mandela's entire life story. Learning about him and his passion for fighting apartheid made me think about my passion for social justice. Though the scenarios are quite different, I like to think that I can relate my passion to Mandela because I too want to put an end to racist institutions that keep white people in power. I also want to put an end to sexist, homophobic, etc. institutions as well and educate people on oppressive histories and policies within America. Like I keep on saying, South Africa is similar to America...America pretty much had its own apartheid and it still lingers within the political, economic, and social systems even today.

I was excited to visit the Hector Pietersen museum in Soweto because of my interest in educational systems. Historically, classified black and colored people were subjected to poor education systems while white people received the best of the best. Hector Pietersen was one of the classified black students who was protesting the Bantu education system. The Bantu education system was for classified black people. It kept them segregated and essentially aided in holding them behind their white counterparts. Hector Pietersen was killed by police during these protests...he was only 13 years old.

We went to Sharpeville, where the Sharpeville massacre took place. According to our tour guide, Shapeville is where the protests on carrying passbooks started. Classified black people were forced to carry identification slips everywhere they went, even though they were citizens of South Africa. This was just another way for the white oppressors of apartheid to control classified black people. If classified black people were caught without their passbook, they were arrested or became victims of police brutality.

In South Africa song and dance was used as a form of peaceful protest. This is what was happening in Sharpeville on the day of the massacre. What happened was that one of the police officers at the protest supposedly became threatened by the protester's singing and dancing. Though these people were not carrying any weapons or committing any crimes, they were seen as a threat. As a result, 69 people were shot dead in the back and 180 people were injured as they were fleeing from the police gun shots.

We also went to a Boy's and Girl's club in Soweto. I'm not the biggest fan of kids, but I made connections with a few. One girl, Nao, is 16 and studying Forensic Accounting. We bonded over discussing corruption within politics and within the community of “bigwigs.” She hopes to work to fight oppressive politicians...but first she needs to pass her matric exams (similar to our SATs). There's no doubt in my mind that Nao will accomplish her dreams.

Something that I thought was ironic was while we were at the boy's and girl's club their donor who happens to be the CEO of Tupper Ware (or something like that) and a white male elite,  was visiting. So all of the kids were on all fours scrubbing the floors, cleaning windows, cleaning the outside of the building, and preparing food for his visit. My co-educators and I helped them clean and prepare. I just found it strange that someone who naturally contributes to capitalism, oppression, and poor environments simply by being the CEO of  Tupper Ware (which mind you is plastic...aka very bad for the environment) was being praised. I understand that he is their donor and that he funds the club, along with many other clubs across the international globe...but he's literally a walking contradiction in my eyes. He's also the definition of what “white savior complex” is. He does work to “help” those in need (mainly people who are not classified as white), but also does work that keeps them at a disadvantage. Though this type of work is helping so many children I can't help but wonder if he doing this work because he actually cares or because he just wants to make himself look good...

He didn't even stay at the club long enough to have conversations with the kids...he just came, listened to them sing him a song, he talked to a few people, ate the food that was prepared, and then left to visit another club that he funds. I just think that he should've spent more time there...I think that he should've been helping the kids prepare for the meal, and I don't think that they should've had to stress about making the place look spotless because they need his funding. Maybe I'm expecting too much from this guy, but as someone who identifies as a radical feminist I couldn't help but see this man as a walking contradiction with the white savior complex.

Kruger National park was awesome. I thoroughly enjoyed the 8 hour ride it took to get there...I really like long car rides. I find them to be so relaxing...I just pop my music in and chill. The first night we went on a night safari ride. I couldn't believe my eyes when we saw two male lions! They were absolutely beautiful and HUGE! We went on multiple safari rides and saw 4 of the Big 5 (rhino, cheetah, buffalo, elephant, giraffe). The only animals we didn't see were rhinos...but that's okay.

Overall this is going to be an experience I'll never forget...and will most likely remain the best Spring Break ever. 

Ashley looking forward to "Spring Break" South African style

Most college Spring-breakers go to Florida, Mexico, or somewhere tropical and warm. I don't think many can say that they're going to (or have been to) Johannesburg for their Spring break. That's where we'll be heading on Sunday. Johannesburg and then Kruger National Park. 

I think a lot of my fellow co-educators have been looking forward to this coming week. I sure can say that I've been looking forward to it too. I'm so grateful for the experiences that I've been able to have here in South Africa...seriously, how cool is it that I'll be able to say that I went to Johannesburg and Kruger for my 2017 Spring break? 

This is going to be a week of learning more about South Africa...and of course having some fun here and there. I think I'm most excited about the food. Vernon hyped us all up last week when he told us that the food offered in the area we will be staying is some of the best food out there. 

I'm also really looking forward to going to Kruger...a real safari experience! We went on a "safari" when we went on the Garden Route, but what we did was drive through an animal reserve. It was definitely cool to see elephants, lions, rhinos, and zebras...but I'm excited to see wild animals in their natural habitat. Apparently on the trip last year people witnessed a Buffalo being hunted and taken down. I just think something like that would be so cool (also probably terrifying) to see. 

Can't wait for Spring break 2017!